I’m a thinker….

I think too much (trust me, I’m told this daily by my best friend). Most of my thoughts don’t apply to many, so I just keep them in my head. Most nights I have thoughts that I would like to share, but by morning they are gone, so tonight I thought I would just stay up and write for a while.

There isn’t a single person on the planet that doesn’t have struggles. Some times we look at a rich person, a famous person, a well dressed neighbor, a well spoken friend, or a driver next to us in a new shiny car and have that twinge of jealousy. We some how think they have it better than we do based on that small, small window into their world. Sometimes we are cut off in traffic, a doctor is inconveniencing us by running late, a cashier is rude, a friend is snapping, and our children are whining and we get angry (my mother tells me that only cows get mad).

Anger and jealousy are hard emotions. What we didn’t see is the rich man’s wife just left him, taking his children away from him, he is the same driver that was so hurt and distracted that he cut us off in traffic that morning. The famous person hides pain from loneness by smiling and jetting from here to there, but inside they are hurting and jealous of those that can live their lives out of the spotlight. That well dressed neighbor is in the doctor’s office while we are waiting impatiently; crying because she was just diagnosed with a lift threatening illness and the doctor is patiently talking and explaining, causing him to run behind. That rude cashier just got a call from her child’s school that her daughter is sick and she must come and pick her up, causing her to miss hours that will cost them food for that week. These aren’t true examples in the sense that I have heard them, but they are true in that we don’t know what others are going through, we don’t know what just happened, we don’t know what is causing them to act as they do.

Every day, every morning, we have a chance to start again. To let go of the negative and hurtful things of the day before and start again. It is easy to hold onto anger and jealousy, but it only hurts us and our loved ones. Rarely does it affect the people that caused those emotions. Wake up and let go, leave all negative emotions on the pillow. And just to make sure they are gone, take off the pillow case and wash those emotions away. Grab a fresh sheet set and start again… literally. Start the day with a smile, a prayer, and know that today you have the chance to smile at the rude cashier, excuse the rude driver, and forgive every trespass against you.

Some days our children whine, act out, or talk back. Just like us, they have bad days too. They respond to our emotions, our struggles, and try to get through their own complicated lives. It is hard to think they have complicated lives, but they do. They have to follow our rules, keep up with their friends and educations, and grow up, while still being told what to do. But everyday we have a chance to start again. To love them, spend time with them, and help them navigate the challenges we all face. How we respond to our struggles, will be seen or heard by them and from that they will learn how to handle life.

When we make a mistake, it is ok to say we made it and apologize and ask forgiveness. When we struggle with knowing what to do, it is good to drop to our knees and pray. Prayer can feel like a very personal experience that we do alone, but it is so important for children and others to see. It is important for us to literally drop to our knees when we are stressed and pray. Just burnt dinner and feel yourself ready to scream? Drop to your knees and pray, then get up and start again. Life is far too short to spend it unhappy, angry, and jealous.

Holding onto the negatives of yesterday robs today of everything it has to offer. Just like waiting for the future also robs us of today. How often do we think we will be happy or have time when we make more money, buy a new tv, buy a house, have a child, get a better job, retire. We always seem to be planning for something or waiting for the day to end. I often hear young mothers say “I can’t wait until today is over”… and I want to ask “why”, why can’t they wait. Today is so precious. Yes, maybe the baby cried too much, and you are tired, but there will never be another day with your baby this age, at this stage, at this exact moment. Tomorrow isn’t going to be “better”. Tomorrow is going to be exactly what you make it to be, what you choose to make of it. So don’t wait until tomorrow, do it today, enjoy the baby today, enjoy your teenager today, enjoy today simply because it’s a gift.

Maybe if we opened every day, like a present, we would appreciate it more and do more with it. That doesn’t mean that every day has to be jammed with exciting things. It can simply mean hugging more, smiling more, dancing, and singing more, simply walking in the garden.

It is so very easy as a parent to start comparing ourselves to other parents and that we aren’t doing a good enough job. Every day, if you wake up, pray for guidance, and love with your entire heart, and do the best you possibly can, then let go of that feeling. We are human, we aren’t perfect. We are going to fail, we aren’t going to measure up to all our friends, but remember… we are only seeing that small, small window. Maybe we don’t have the money to take our children to all the cool places or travel around the world, but that doesn’t mean we can’t give them great experiences that cost nothing.

That is one reason I don’t think Facebook and websites like it are a good idea. We only see a glimce, a single moment in their lives. We think their lives are better based on pictures, or status updates. We really know so very little. Facebook has a negative impact on my life and I believe it does the same for others, particularly teenagers. But that is a post for another day.

It’s after 1 in the morning, so I should head to bed. In a few hours it will be time to start all over again, to open my present of a new day. What an amazing gift. A day, hours to choose what to do with my live and how to positively impact the lives of those around me. What a blessing this gift is. I hope you enjoy your new day, and open the gift like you are a child at Christmas.

Goodnight. May God bless you.